


It Don't Matter to Me

by IvanW



Series: Song Inspired Fics [13]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Bread, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, One Shot, Past Relationship(s), Song fic, love realizations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23829661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: Another song fic featuring BreadThis one is The Original SeriesKind of fluffy, kind of silly, kind of melancholy, I just don't know
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Series: Song Inspired Fics [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1487456
Comments: 11
Kudos: 59





	It Don't Matter to Me

During the years occurring as the mission progressed, Spock had a friend very few knew about. It wasn’t that he kept it a secret. It was simply his experience that most other crew members paid little heed to him unless they were taking orders from him or he was in the company of Captain Kirk or Doctor McCoy.

His friend was an older man, a scientist in Spock’s department, that usually kept to himself except for those times he joined Spock for tea or other refreshment. Like Spock he was a vegetarian. He’d been married before, was a widower now, and had grown children.

Chief Randolph Michelson. Spock only ever called him Michelson and he only ever called Spock Commander.

They had their tea together once a week only. Michelson sometimes brought snacks for them and sometimes not. Spock never did.

Still, Spock considered him a friend and believed that friendship was mutual. 

On one particular day, Michelson had brought up Kirk, as he had a few times.

“You ever want to just give up?” Michelson asked, chewing on a carrot.

“Give up?”

Michelson shrugged. “On Kirk. Getting it. You know. The way you feel.”

Early on in their friendship, which had been going on close to five years now, since the beginning of the mission, Spock had confided things to Michelson he wasn’t sure he should have and definitely things he never had to anyone else.

To his surprise and relief though, Michelson had kept his confidence and had become someone he felt okay with discussing this with. Though at the same time, Spock was also embarrassed to feel that way.

“You refer to the most recent incident with Elaan of Troy.”

Michelson nodded. “And Deela and Miramanee and…”

“Yes, I understand,” Spock interrupted. He didn’t really care to have a list of the captain’s conquests. He had them fairly memorized on his own, and at times, more than he would like to admit to, and quite illogical, at that, he spent time alone in his quarters thinking about it. Too much.

“That’s why I wonder. I guess…when you first started talking to me about Kirk there was Helen Noel.”

“That was manipulated by Dr. Adams.” Spock didn’t mean for his voice to sound defensive.

“True,” Michelson agreed. “But Edith Keeler…”

“I am aware of them all. It is at times like this I wish I had not told you any of it.”

“I’ll never tell a soul, you know that. But you’re my friend and it bothers me a bit how you pine for someone so unavailable.”

“I do not pine.”

“Much,” Michelson muttered. “Do you think he’ll ever come to want to be with you?”

“Time is on my side, Michelson.”

He picked up another carrot. “Is it?”

“There is an old Earth song that comes to mind that I believe sums up my situation.” Spock paused. “Are you familiar with it?”

Michelson narrowed his eyes. “What song?”

“It Don’t Matter to Me.”

“That is…”

“Grammatically incorrect. Yes, I am aware. But I specifically refer you to the lines that are ‘How many came before it really doesn’t matter just as long as you’re the last.’”

Michelson smiled. “Ah. I see. Well, Commander, I must admit something. That’s really quite logical of you.”

“I appreciate that, Michelson.”

It was a few years later after this conversation that Spock recalled it to its full extent. It was just after he had returned to the Enterprise, having left to attempt Kolinahr. When all that was over with V’Ger, Spock inquired into the health of Michelson as he hadn’t heard what happened with him after the mission had ended. He’d advised Spock that he intended to finally retire.

But when his inquiry had been made, Spock discovered that his friend had died of a heart attack not long after they parted to never see each other.

And this got Spock thinking and deciding that, logically, he needed to take a chance.

He’d once thought time was on his side, but then nothing ever seemed to move forward with Kirk, and, admittedly, after Reyna, he’d finally given up that Kirk would ever choose him. When he’d melded with Jim to help him forget the pain of loving and losing her, he’d seen inside Kirk’s mind and there was nothing but friendship for him. Or so he had believed. But now…after everything…he didn’t know.

One of his last conversations with Michelson played in his mind.

“You know, Commander, I’ve been thinking about that song you mentioned a while back.”

“Oh?”

“Sure thing. And you were right some. I think. Alice, my wife, well, I never did care who she’d been with before me. Why should I be jealous of them? They didn’t matter to the two of us. And I think she felt the same. I was no saint before I met her. Didn’t have to be. And once we committed to each other, well, that was it. So, yeah, you were right. Just wanted to say. You should go talk to the captain. Ship’s mission’s gonna be over soon, you know. Before you know it, we’ll all part ways and nobody knows what the future will bring. Maybe time isn’t as on your side as you think, that’s all I’m saying.”

And of course for his friend, it had not been on his side at all.

Spock stood outside Kirk’s quarters. He pressed or entry.

“Come.”

Kirk, who had been sitting on the edge of his desk, PADD in hand, squinting, looked up when Spock walked in. He smiled and set the PADD aside.

“Spock. This is unexpected. It’s…good to see you. Really good.”

“And I agree with that sentiment, Captain.”

“Jim.” Kirk’s smile was a little sly, but also warm and welcoming in ways Spock had not anticipated.

“What can I do for you?”

Spock took a deep breath and said, “There is an open heart waiting for you. And I ask that you take it.”

Kirk stared at him, eyes wide. He’d straightened away from his desk and stood up now. “What are you saying?”

“I think you know. Jim. And I find that it _does_ matter, after all.”

Kirk moved toward him, smile lighting up his face, as he moved toward Spock, arms welcoming Spock into his.


End file.
